It has been our families experience that the holidays can be a particularly difficult time of year for those who have lost loved ones.  It is as though there is this big elephant in the room that families do not know what to do with it.  After loss, a strange set of mixed emotions settles into the minds of people gathering for special holiday occasions. Some may revert to drinking as a way of coping with those emotions. Others may fall on their faith to get through those lonely times.  I have posted 10 tips off the compassionate friends website that will help you get through the holidays.1. Emotions need relief and should not be stuffed inside just so others will not be uncomfortable. Give yourself permission to cry, be sad, laugh, or have fun. 
2. Do not overextend yourself by trying to host a party, or even attend a party or gathering, 
just because you have done so in the past. Others will understand this is not a good time 
for you. 
3. Find new holiday traditions that can incorporate the child who died. 
4. If you must shop for others, find a time when the stores are not extremely busy like early 
morning, order through the Internet, or ask others to shop for you. 
5. It is therapeutic to discuss and share memories of the child who died. 
6. Write down what areas you fear most about the holiday and discuss these with your 
family so you can be prepared. 
7. Remember that holidays are very important for surviving children. They need the sense 
of normalcy the holiday season provides and should be included in holiday planning. 
8. Consider a short, private memorial service or candle lighting in memory of your child. 
9. Eat well, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and be careful of consuming alcohol, which is a 
depressant. 
10. Remember that the fearful anticipation of an approaching holiday is usually worse than the day itself.